For all those years that I have been missing, suddenly I felt like writing.



AUGUST 19, 2019.

This post is all out to my son. LUKE


Mom and Dad has been so grateful having you around. Despise the storm, flu and fever your mom is having. She's trying her best to pamper you and love you with all her heart. It is not easy when it comes to you stubbornness (like your dad) and your younger sister LEAH crawling all over the place. Respect and love is nothing more than your dad would ever give to mommy (THE LOVE OF MY LIFE) Mommy, You and Leah.


It has been a really long journey to what I have achieved. Always looking forward to what I could have achieved. Stay true, Stay strong, always keep your prayers to Jehovah our Heavenly father till the time comes.


DADDY.
Leonardo DG



P/S : Wish your grandfather had somethings like this for me. LOL.

Beginning of Fun year!

_{Here we go!}

A brand new year with a road trip and holidays with my girl. It's fun driving around and no doubt the sun, sea and beaches it's awesome. 

2nd highlights of the month! Here at court to bail someone important.  Lol...

Any ways, more update for myself soon!! XD GTG!

Is him who lead us, is us who make the difference!

It's just yet another thin line between right and wrong. Appreciate all the up's and down in life, as of for me is to get closer to those that is true to me. Live life is a must, but living life in the way of Jehovah is a necessity. Every step and every moment is He who gave it to us. As written in the bible, "Jesus said to him: “I am the way+ and the truth+ and the life.+ No one comes to the Father except through me.+ 7 If you men had known me, you would have known my Father also; from this moment on you know him and have seen him.”+ John Chapter 14:6 & 7 As Jehovah God blessed my every step. My achievement is nothing if it's not from Jehovah himself. My ego-ness and ignorance is what I am ashamed of but my humbleness had changed the course of my path. Forgive me as I have sinned, and give me the courage to fight my fear and avoid evildoers, so I could provide for my family as they have provided me. Give the strength to not be intoxicated by an social drugs, as I have sinned one again. Give the the strength and courage to start a life with presence of Jehovah and the perseverance. Help those who are in need and let the revenge and hatred be dealt with. My life is so wonderful and I am doing all I can do keep that. One day we could still sit down looking at those days and memories we have created. Smiling and laughing while our grandson and granddaughter lit our every smile. Never regret anything since the day that we met. It's not easy to find someone that can cope up in things we do. Never the less, it was a million times more difficult to share your side of the story without being judge.Praying hard that you would be a part of my life till the day we both expired. =) #TWC #LEONDG #RAJ #GARY

Saw this when I was cleaning up my old hard drive where I thought it was dead. 19th March 2012, 10:18pm, Singapore. Dear Diary, Finished watching superman returns from year (2010) I guess. Right now at this moment, I am listening to love songs and it feels so good. Called my STBW girlfriend 3 times in a row. She never pick up. Just right after I send her a message, she texted me and I am writing here now and ignored her call. Moments later she called. Guess what, I continue wrighting and did not pick up her call. I really wonder what is she doing at that moment. All this while when I did not answear her call, all sorts of bad thoughts starting to creeps into her mind, so I felt the same things right here right now. After reading her messages I decided to call her back. "i WAS CHARGING MY PHONE, didn't notice the phone was ringging". sORRY TO SAY THIS, I STILL DONT TRUST WOMEN ALL THE WAY. Is she really in her grandma's house? Really? Who cares? Maybe I was raised not to trust no women, no matter how much I Love her or how deep I have fallen into the bunny hole. It's not so mcuh of putting up with the scores between each other. If she can feels that way, why can't I feel the same? I felt that every person on earth has someone they can really talked to and shares every tiny little deatails in their life. No? Why? So who will that person be? A stranger or probably someone so much closer to them that you know or never eventhought of, cause it is a secret between them and they are just a friend infront of you? I really do not know this. No matter how much I love her, I still thinks that she is not entirely honest with it. I am also trying my best to shares every tiny details with her, yet it is hard. Just don't want to be judged by someone I love so much and creates the boundaries of fear when we are entirely from a seperate universe. Why universe? World is so much smaller compared to a galaxy, because of the gap of such a vast difference a galaxy describe it all. Top of the world means nothing no more, as I am standing on my own feet to keep up with the galaxy. Moon and stars is no longer what I promised to deliver from the bootom of my heart, it is the galaxy and beyond infinity will display my affection. I promised her once, shiny armor I shall be as long as I live to protect her. Also like a bullet that penetrates thru all Godly armor to destroy all her nightmares away. Right up to this point, I am invulnerable as I am the master of all weapon, an and invicible barrier of love that we have build over the years. The only weakness is her love to me, cause she will forever be my kryptonite to destroy me. If this day were to come, it will be a total eclipse that will shalter the light to destroy me from within, powerful enought that the Sun could not save me. ................ end

Wishes

I wish you were here with me Baby girl. You'll always be my Baby girl. Perhaps till the day I had my own daughter. XD

Happiness

Wishing you would shine brighter than a star that I used to called mine.
I'm happy for you are happy, I'm sad for the pain I caused and those scars I can't remove.
It's been awhile since we knew each other. Remember me, remember us for as long as we live.
Si go our favourite song, My Heart and Armageddon. Truly happy for your happiness. Wish I had a moment to stop and say goodbye thou it's still is my saddest word to ever say it out. <3

#monalisasmile

It wasn't easy.

It wasn't easy and never will but it's pure and true.
Forgive me for what I have done and treasure those sweet memories we had.
Remember me, remember us and all those we used to have for as long as you live.

I never really understand stand why you left nor why you are sad, all I know there's so much more about me that you don't know. Love creates fear that somehow you'll lose them for the fact is love should be without hesitation and fear.

#sadfactsoflife101

Perhaps this is the best

You have my blessing. You deserve someone better. May Jehovah God bless upon your every step and happiness.
Thank you for your unconditional love, sweet memories and being a part of life.

It's my action to caused a good women like you to walk out of my life. Thank you for your unconditional love.
I will always love you.

Wants, needs, must have, or any other words similar

Have you ever have the feelings of having something or someone so badly?
So bad till you can't sleep at nite? Day or nite, it goes round and round and round in your mind?
When it's actually so near, yet still so far out of reach.

I don't know who to talk to anymore. I don't fell like talking to anyone at all. It feel's good to write it out loud. I think God is angry at me. I feel.

What I desire could it also be what my heart desire. I don't know. I THINK I'M GOING CRAZY.
What I used to enjoy doing, it's totally the opposite now. A year ago I am myself, but now I dont even know who am I. It's still too far away from "MID-LIFE CRYSIS". I had anger management issue but I think I'm doing great so far. But sometimes I really need to let it go. But I can never find the perfect output or even a proper output to all of this.

What could you possibly desire when you already have everything? Going crazy over something that will never happen the way it supposed to be. Gosh.. What else can I say?
I rest my case.

Hdbakagrjfbdk

Something happen in the car yesterday. Something awesome. Yes, it's exactly like what you think.

Well, was not feeling well for several days now. Still in dilemma of I should say Hi to my doctor.

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We are who we are.

Thing that we do in the past will reflect the current life. But who cares. Nothing I do can change what has happen in the past.


Love love love.
It's fun but always full of pain. It will make u high, also will make you die.


If only things was different in many way. My life will be much more awesome with you around.




I feel like driving. Somewhere far, somewhere I'm unfamiliar, I wanna drive fast, I wanna be just by myself. I'm tired to talk, I refuse to smile, I just want to do something stupid nd feel good about it now.

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How would you feel?

Feelings. It's in everyone of us. Something we cannot avoid or deny.
Feelings also know as emotions. We all have so many kind of emotions and feelings that is difficult to explain or describe in words.

I have this feelings on and off. There are times when I do not know if it is needs, wants, dreams, crave or lost. I can't describe nor even categorize 'em. I'm confused with all of this. Taking action to determined the emotions inside is crucial. On the other hand it's tough as hell.

There are things in that I managed to handle and yet there are plenty that is left floating in my mind. It just don't and won't work. Maybe it is meant to be this way. Maybe this is what I make believe that it will remain this way forever.

I felt so down low at times randomly. But sometimes I felt so happy suddenly even nothing special happens in life. Am I sick? Or is it the sudden changes in life that I can't accept yet?
Refuse to accept or force self to remain in the State of Denial. I've been craving for so many things in life before this and I owned most of them now. I feel good about that. When it comes to certain things in life that I can't have no matter how hard I try it just kills everything. Especially when all of 'em just lingers in my mind.



Shout out for help. Will there be an answer to all of this?

It's been so long

There goes. It has been more than a year a go since my last post. Blogging is something that I don't think will last long for me. I don't know how. I till I will blog more now often then before because I can do it on my Sexy Droids. Wheee.. Tashkani there is apps for blogger and that's awesome.

Last year was kinda tough somehow. Everything seems to be in place but I was then to find out later that all falls apart each time when it started to grow. If life is like how I wanted it to be, then I will be long gone before time as the force of destructive nature is so strong. Well I survived another year with more awesome one to come this year.

Had dinner with my family on th 14th which was my birthday. Enjoy the dinner a lot as the food at Pangkor Village was awesome. That day itself was awesome and still are now. I hope that the awesome aura will stay for a very long time. Everything goes along the way where it is meant to be. And the best part of it, I can see it coming right before it happens. (I have six sense. WTF!) Had a dream that nite. It was my daddy. I cried in my dreams and woke up to realize that I really cried for real. I miss him so much and time can never heal the scars or take away my memory. Nothing to describe nor replace how much I miss you daddy. If only I can see you one more time, I will be the happiest person to ever live. I think everyone has forgotten about you and moved on with their life. On the bright side everyone is happy. Mom's is doing great and got promoted to high level position is less than a year. She's doing well and happy now. Your son me is also awesome like that followed by Leon. There are so many things I want to tell you and wish you can hear me. Life was never the same since the day you left me.

Been really with work lately. Don't have much time for myself. Especially when I need to cope up with work and other schedule. I'm still trying to maintain balance in every aspect possible. Learn tonnes of new things. I always believe in myself and I always think I can conquer the world just like that. I don't think that is possible now and I am not saying I'm incapable or confidence to do that. Just to realize that my knowledge and so many other factors to consider. Will strive for the best possible achievement before I turn 25 next year.

Next achievement for 2012.
1. Close a deal with major corporation with estimated contract sum over 6million.
2. Focused on major aspect to become the next generation successor
3. Get my new VW GTI
4. The rest is history.

I don't and I wont want to think of any other stuff besides the above. This is not the life that I want. I told myself that sometime ago. I know I have the ability to achieve what I want in life. Anything that is bad for me I will turn my back and leave. If it is good for me, I will treasure it. If it has potential, I will chase after it. If it messes with me, I will turn my back with no regrets. What is your greatest fear? To live with somethings from the past that I wish to take the right turn rather than the left turn.

Happy CNY and drive safe.

Here I am wishing all my friends and family out the a Happy Prosperous Chinese New Year in the year of Tiger. I believe many of us sure balik KAMPUNG. So please drive safe and always remember to put you safety belt on. And be gentle and be patient on the road as we all will suffer massive traffic jam and kaya too(maybe some butter).





Even my hamper also have the safety belt on okay. Don't play play. >.<" Wish everyone here fatt fatt tat tat in this year of Tiger. =p dat fatt fatt tat tat sounds funny thou

I WAN MY OAKLEY!

I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT MY OAKLEY! I WAN TO GET MY OAKLEY BEFORE CNY AND ALSO MY LAMBO FOR CNY! WTF!






I THINK I'M GOING CRAZY JUST BY THINKING! =.="

Write/Read?

I do realize that these day's I prefer to read more than write. I love to read what people write on their blog instead of updating my own. Yes, you are rite. I always ask myself what is there to read on peoples blog? So sien okay. But when I started it lately it's tashkani quite fun. I realize I tend to listen more to people surrounding me lately instead of talking and talking and giving advice over everything that means nothing in the end. Yeah, I surely know how it feels like. Listening is just as great.



P/s Silent is golden. Now I truly understand that. If you have nothing to say shut the fuck up.

Wall Climbing

Went to wall climbing yesterday @ Putrajaya. It's my 1st climb btw. My 1st climb on Speed Wall it's totally crazy because the trail is the hardest compare to the other one. Almost reached the top but I have no more energy to pull myself up anymore. Hanging on the rope for about 15 mins feeling completely powerless sucks big time. It's not that bad because I can still talk to YX and he is giving me all those mental support "YOU CAN DO IT, IT'S ALMOST THERE". =.="
How I wished that I'm on the ground instead of hanging on the rope powerless. I was holding on to the rope the entire time and so afraid that the rope gonna break. Went I'm finally down on the ground I was completely flat for about 30mins or so. Tried the other normal wall it's way much better and I'm loving it alot. Might be going over to Putrajaya again this weekend with all the geng. Enjoy it alot. Thank you guys!

P/s Life hanging on a string is so not good. I have tried it and know how it feels like. How about you?




Credit to : telegraph.co.uk

Monday.

Back from a nice and decent weekend. Just don't like Monday. I never like Monday.
Do you people still remember times when we were studying? Every Monday we need to stand at assembly hall to sing Negara Ku and all those boring speeches? OMG, Monday is the worse day ever. Now, every Monday we need to go to work and pray for another Friday and weekend to come. This is a total nightmare when the week turns to Monday. It's a day most people need to crawl up from bed due to excessive physical and mentally stress on the weekend "You Know What I'm Talking About".



Me : Sad to be you Monday
Monday : I know. If only I could be Friday.
Me : You wish.
Monday : I know. FML.

=.="

Super Bad Service ACM Malaysia SDN. BHD.

Why can't they be polite? It's their job anyway. If you don't like the job, just quit.

It's all about my D-MAX. 1st servicing , so many issue and it's highly recommended service center for all Isuzu vehicle. I will never go back there again. I was so dissapointed when I found out that my spare tyre tools were missing. Send my car for servicing about two weeks ago at ACM Batu Caves. I called to make an appointment at 11 a.m. Called in the 2nd time around 10.30 a.m. to inform them I will be reaching around 11.15 a.m. cause I'm all the way from Klang and the traffic is quite bad. When I reached ACM Batu Caves at 11.10 a.m. the queue there was fine but the make me wait about 30mins before they attend to me. When the called my number and ask me if I'm sending in for servicing I said yes.
Guess what that "An Ney" said to me? Sorry, we are unable to take anymore vehicle at this time due to overwhelming customer this morning. I told him I made an appointment early this morning and was told to come at this hour. Took him long enough to check on the reservation book. He came back to me and said "Sorry, if you drop your car today you can only collect it the next day" I was like wtf!??? How am I supposed to go home? At least you let me know earlier when I called up???

There are few defects when I collected that car. Scratches on the door panel, thread on the leather seat is not in proper position and even the door panel leather is bad. Complain on the next day to Isuzu Malaysia and was told to send in for normal warranty claim. When I told them about the problem they started to point fingers to the owners. This damaged is all done by you in directly. I was so pissed off and told them that I already make a report the following day after I collected the car. They are not helpful at all. Blame the owner "ME" for damaging my own car?? Do you FUCKERS know how much I love my car?? Besides the back seat is not even occupied. It's for me to just keep my stuff okay! One of the reason they gave me was, because when I send my car for tinted films the scratch it. HUH?? I know it makes sense but I told you it's like that when I strip the plastic off the chair.

Owh, one more thing is the way he handle my player. OMG, my heart almost pops out. My car came with build in DVD player. I told him that my player wont turn off sometimes when I cut off the engine so he went and test the player. He don't even know how to used it at all. He press the touch screen so hard and the button so hard untill the lcd is forced to go back in to the slot. DUDE IT'S MOTORISED MONITOR! IT MOVES BY ITSELF! IDIOT! After doing that several time he said owh it's like that. Every time you turn off your engine you must turn off the player 1st. o.O???? WTF IS THAT? So are you putting the blame on me when the problem is from the player? or saying that I DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE IT? I wonder if they even read the service manual for the car and the user manual. I don't think this is how a player should work. Of so many cars I drove, there is no such issue like turning off the radio 1st before you turn off the engine or else the player wont shut down. Definitely something is wrong on the wiring. So this time I damaged the player myself aye dude? If only they could solve this problem and stop blaming on the customer.


FYI, This is DMAX 3.0 AT+. He cant even read the Vehicle Registration Card staple on the service book. For such a high price paid for that car, it's surely not used for heavy work to stress the vehicle. It's just normal city drive. How can you blame on the owner for such a complain? I lost my spare tyre tools after I send my car for servicing. It's more than 2 weeks now. Impossible for me to make a complain. I'm glad that I found out now rather then when I need it.

THUMBS DOWN ACM MALAYSIA SDN. BHD.




P/s For all Isuzu D-MAX owners out there. Never go back to ACM Malaysia SDN. BHD. @ Batu Caves for servicing. Else you will regret.

One Fine Day

1st post on the 6th of January 2010. Tashkani, on the 1st of January 2010 is not really a good day for me. Everything is getting better I hope. Everything I do seems to be a mess. Tried very hard to support my family in every single way, yet is never enough.



I always wonder, how hard is it to keep this whole family standing? In the end it's not as simple as I think it would turn out to be. There is a saying that 1 man can change the world or makes a different. The fact is the other way round. 1 man can't change anything. It takes more than a thousand to move a mountain. At least this is what I believe. Even Achilles die someday. I can never stay here forever to hold and patch everything up. Grow up! Please use your almighty brain to think for once. You won't stay forever young. Stop being so FUCKING CHILDISH!



The rest of the day is great. Someone message me this morning and asked me to buy her black oil. I hang for a moment in my life. Black oil? WTH is black oil. It's a direct translation of "Hak Yau". It's engine oil instead of black oil. This is how Malaysian speak. Welcome to Malaysia.