Wants, needs, must have, or any other words similar

Have you ever have the feelings of having something or someone so badly?
So bad till you can't sleep at nite? Day or nite, it goes round and round and round in your mind?
When it's actually so near, yet still so far out of reach.

I don't know who to talk to anymore. I don't fell like talking to anyone at all. It feel's good to write it out loud. I think God is angry at me. I feel.

What I desire could it also be what my heart desire. I don't know. I THINK I'M GOING CRAZY.
What I used to enjoy doing, it's totally the opposite now. A year ago I am myself, but now I dont even know who am I. It's still too far away from "MID-LIFE CRYSIS". I had anger management issue but I think I'm doing great so far. But sometimes I really need to let it go. But I can never find the perfect output or even a proper output to all of this.

What could you possibly desire when you already have everything? Going crazy over something that will never happen the way it supposed to be. Gosh.. What else can I say?
I rest my case.

Hdbakagrjfbdk

Something happen in the car yesterday. Something awesome. Yes, it's exactly like what you think.

Well, was not feeling well for several days now. Still in dilemma of I should say Hi to my doctor.

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We are who we are.

Thing that we do in the past will reflect the current life. But who cares. Nothing I do can change what has happen in the past.


Love love love.
It's fun but always full of pain. It will make u high, also will make you die.


If only things was different in many way. My life will be much more awesome with you around.




I feel like driving. Somewhere far, somewhere I'm unfamiliar, I wanna drive fast, I wanna be just by myself. I'm tired to talk, I refuse to smile, I just want to do something stupid nd feel good about it now.

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How would you feel?

Feelings. It's in everyone of us. Something we cannot avoid or deny.
Feelings also know as emotions. We all have so many kind of emotions and feelings that is difficult to explain or describe in words.

I have this feelings on and off. There are times when I do not know if it is needs, wants, dreams, crave or lost. I can't describe nor even categorize 'em. I'm confused with all of this. Taking action to determined the emotions inside is crucial. On the other hand it's tough as hell.

There are things in that I managed to handle and yet there are plenty that is left floating in my mind. It just don't and won't work. Maybe it is meant to be this way. Maybe this is what I make believe that it will remain this way forever.

I felt so down low at times randomly. But sometimes I felt so happy suddenly even nothing special happens in life. Am I sick? Or is it the sudden changes in life that I can't accept yet?
Refuse to accept or force self to remain in the State of Denial. I've been craving for so many things in life before this and I owned most of them now. I feel good about that. When it comes to certain things in life that I can't have no matter how hard I try it just kills everything. Especially when all of 'em just lingers in my mind.



Shout out for help. Will there be an answer to all of this?

It's been so long

There goes. It has been more than a year a go since my last post. Blogging is something that I don't think will last long for me. I don't know how. I till I will blog more now often then before because I can do it on my Sexy Droids. Wheee.. Tashkani there is apps for blogger and that's awesome.

Last year was kinda tough somehow. Everything seems to be in place but I was then to find out later that all falls apart each time when it started to grow. If life is like how I wanted it to be, then I will be long gone before time as the force of destructive nature is so strong. Well I survived another year with more awesome one to come this year.

Had dinner with my family on th 14th which was my birthday. Enjoy the dinner a lot as the food at Pangkor Village was awesome. That day itself was awesome and still are now. I hope that the awesome aura will stay for a very long time. Everything goes along the way where it is meant to be. And the best part of it, I can see it coming right before it happens. (I have six sense. WTF!) Had a dream that nite. It was my daddy. I cried in my dreams and woke up to realize that I really cried for real. I miss him so much and time can never heal the scars or take away my memory. Nothing to describe nor replace how much I miss you daddy. If only I can see you one more time, I will be the happiest person to ever live. I think everyone has forgotten about you and moved on with their life. On the bright side everyone is happy. Mom's is doing great and got promoted to high level position is less than a year. She's doing well and happy now. Your son me is also awesome like that followed by Leon. There are so many things I want to tell you and wish you can hear me. Life was never the same since the day you left me.

Been really with work lately. Don't have much time for myself. Especially when I need to cope up with work and other schedule. I'm still trying to maintain balance in every aspect possible. Learn tonnes of new things. I always believe in myself and I always think I can conquer the world just like that. I don't think that is possible now and I am not saying I'm incapable or confidence to do that. Just to realize that my knowledge and so many other factors to consider. Will strive for the best possible achievement before I turn 25 next year.

Next achievement for 2012.
1. Close a deal with major corporation with estimated contract sum over 6million.
2. Focused on major aspect to become the next generation successor
3. Get my new VW GTI
4. The rest is history.

I don't and I wont want to think of any other stuff besides the above. This is not the life that I want. I told myself that sometime ago. I know I have the ability to achieve what I want in life. Anything that is bad for me I will turn my back and leave. If it is good for me, I will treasure it. If it has potential, I will chase after it. If it messes with me, I will turn my back with no regrets. What is your greatest fear? To live with somethings from the past that I wish to take the right turn rather than the left turn.

Happy CNY and drive safe.

Here I am wishing all my friends and family out the a Happy Prosperous Chinese New Year in the year of Tiger. I believe many of us sure balik KAMPUNG. So please drive safe and always remember to put you safety belt on. And be gentle and be patient on the road as we all will suffer massive traffic jam and kaya too(maybe some butter).





Even my hamper also have the safety belt on okay. Don't play play. >.<" Wish everyone here fatt fatt tat tat in this year of Tiger. =p dat fatt fatt tat tat sounds funny thou

I WAN MY OAKLEY!

I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT MY OAKLEY! I WAN TO GET MY OAKLEY BEFORE CNY AND ALSO MY LAMBO FOR CNY! WTF!






I THINK I'M GOING CRAZY JUST BY THINKING! =.="

Write/Read?

I do realize that these day's I prefer to read more than write. I love to read what people write on their blog instead of updating my own. Yes, you are rite. I always ask myself what is there to read on peoples blog? So sien okay. But when I started it lately it's tashkani quite fun. I realize I tend to listen more to people surrounding me lately instead of talking and talking and giving advice over everything that means nothing in the end. Yeah, I surely know how it feels like. Listening is just as great.



P/s Silent is golden. Now I truly understand that. If you have nothing to say shut the fuck up.

Wall Climbing

Went to wall climbing yesterday @ Putrajaya. It's my 1st climb btw. My 1st climb on Speed Wall it's totally crazy because the trail is the hardest compare to the other one. Almost reached the top but I have no more energy to pull myself up anymore. Hanging on the rope for about 15 mins feeling completely powerless sucks big time. It's not that bad because I can still talk to YX and he is giving me all those mental support "YOU CAN DO IT, IT'S ALMOST THERE". =.="
How I wished that I'm on the ground instead of hanging on the rope powerless. I was holding on to the rope the entire time and so afraid that the rope gonna break. Went I'm finally down on the ground I was completely flat for about 30mins or so. Tried the other normal wall it's way much better and I'm loving it alot. Might be going over to Putrajaya again this weekend with all the geng. Enjoy it alot. Thank you guys!

P/s Life hanging on a string is so not good. I have tried it and know how it feels like. How about you?




Credit to : telegraph.co.uk

Monday.

Back from a nice and decent weekend. Just don't like Monday. I never like Monday.
Do you people still remember times when we were studying? Every Monday we need to stand at assembly hall to sing Negara Ku and all those boring speeches? OMG, Monday is the worse day ever. Now, every Monday we need to go to work and pray for another Friday and weekend to come. This is a total nightmare when the week turns to Monday. It's a day most people need to crawl up from bed due to excessive physical and mentally stress on the weekend "You Know What I'm Talking About".



Me : Sad to be you Monday
Monday : I know. If only I could be Friday.
Me : You wish.
Monday : I know. FML.

=.="