Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Saw this when I was cleaning up my old hard drive where I thought it was dead. 19th March 2012, 10:18pm, Singapore. Dear Diary, Finished watching superman returns from year (2010) I guess. Right now at this moment, I am listening to love songs and it feels so good. Called my STBW girlfriend 3 times in a row. She never pick up. Just right after I send her a message, she texted me and I am writing here now and ignored her call. Moments later she called. Guess what, I continue wrighting and did not pick up her call. I really wonder what is she doing at that moment. All this while when I did not answear her call, all sorts of bad thoughts starting to creeps into her mind, so I felt the same things right here right now. After reading her messages I decided to call her back. "i WAS CHARGING MY PHONE, didn't notice the phone was ringging". sORRY TO SAY THIS, I STILL DONT TRUST WOMEN ALL THE WAY. Is she really in her grandma's house? Really? Who cares? Maybe I was raised not to trust no women, no matter how much I Love her or how deep I have fallen into the bunny hole. It's not so mcuh of putting up with the scores between each other. If she can feels that way, why can't I feel the same? I felt that every person on earth has someone they can really talked to and shares every tiny little deatails in their life. No? Why? So who will that person be? A stranger or probably someone so much closer to them that you know or never eventhought of, cause it is a secret between them and they are just a friend infront of you? I really do not know this. No matter how much I love her, I still thinks that she is not entirely honest with it. I am also trying my best to shares every tiny details with her, yet it is hard. Just don't want to be judged by someone I love so much and creates the boundaries of fear when we are entirely from a seperate universe. Why universe? World is so much smaller compared to a galaxy, because of the gap of such a vast difference a galaxy describe it all. Top of the world means nothing no more, as I am standing on my own feet to keep up with the galaxy. Moon and stars is no longer what I promised to deliver from the bootom of my heart, it is the galaxy and beyond infinity will display my affection. I promised her once, shiny armor I shall be as long as I live to protect her. Also like a bullet that penetrates thru all Godly armor to destroy all her nightmares away. Right up to this point, I am invulnerable as I am the master of all weapon, an and invicible barrier of love that we have build over the years. The only weakness is her love to me, cause she will forever be my kryptonite to destroy me. If this day were to come, it will be a total eclipse that will shalter the light to destroy me from within, powerful enought that the Sun could not save me. ................ end


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